I started this little blog 3 years ago feeling very focused and thinking that I would be propelled into a successful career upon college graduation. I thought that I had spent years wasting time and being "unsuccessful." Huh. Am I back to wasting time? Or are some years just more difficult than others? It is easy to look back and say something was wrong when you are feeling right.
When I am in a relationship I pity people that have been single for a long time. When I am thin(ner) I wonder how the hell I could have ever let myself go...wonder why I was eating like shit and not exercising enough. When I have money, I forget just how stressful it is to not have money. Goddamn I can be a self-righteous ass.
I quit my job as a customer service supervisor 2 months ago and have been waiting tables (more money, flexible schedule, less responsibility) in the interim while I decide on my next step. I have been thinking about grad school. I have been thinking about barber school or beauty school. I have been thinking about moving to NYC or Philly or DC. I have been feeling frustrated and depressed because what I wanted was to find a job using my degree in Lancaster. That has not happened.
I just watched the movie Limitless where this dude in a depressed slump takes a drug and is able to fully reach his potential. His "before" life totally looks like mine does now. What do I need to do to fully reach MY potential?
Or is that the wrong question? Should I instead try harder to be content with the life that I do have? Is this me being ungrateful and thinking that there is something wrong with my nice life?
What am I missing?
